Back in the 19th century a new church movement
began. Two independent groups decided that Christ’s church should be united
rather than divided. They sought to be known only as Christians. Not Baptists.
Not Presbyterians. Not even Protestants. Just Christians. The movement came to
be known as the Restoration Movement since it sought to restore the church as
it was in the first century. One of the two movements originated with Barton
Stone in Kentucky. The other originated with Thomas Campbell and his son
Alexander in what is now West Virginia. Over time the attempted unification
failed and the movement ended up splitting into three major groups: Church of
Christ, Christian Church, and Christian Church (Disciples of Christ). I
discussed the Church of Christ in my first post in this series. I will now
discuss the Christian Church. In the next post I will discuss the Disciples of
Christ.
My wife Kathy was raised in the United Church of Christ,
which, by the way, is not related to the Church of Christ. However, when she
went off to college she found a new church home in the Christian Church. She
joined a Christian Church affiliated student fellowship called His House and
began attending the Christian Church. When she moved back home to start her
teaching career, she found a nearby Christian Church to attend. That is where
she was attending when she and I started dating.
Kathy and I first became acquainted during our senior year
in high school. We had a couple of classes together as well as study hall. I
developed a crush on her, but was way too shy in those days to do anything
about it. She went off to Murray State University to get her Master’s degree so
she could teach math. I stayed at home and went to the University of Louisville
to get my Master’s degree so I could be a chemical engineer. As I mentioned in
my first post in this series, it was after I started my career in Alabama that
I became a Christian. I was a member of the Church of Christ.
In early 1981, I was home visiting my parents. A good friend
who grew up just down the street from me asked if I would like to go to church
with him. He went to a Christian Church. He informed me that Anita went to
church there also. My wife’s name is Anita Kathleen. In high school everyone
knew her as Anita, but she dropped that name in college since all her family
called her Kathy, and she was tired of being known by two different names.
Anyway, I knew that the Christian Church used instrumental music and had other
differences from the Church of Christ, but I was not as strict about such
things as others were. So I attended the Christian Church with my friend. This
was the first time since high school that I had seen Kathy. It was in Sunday
School that I realized that I still had feelings for her. However, I was dating
someone else in Alabama at the time.
In October 1981, I was once again in Louisville, but this
time I was not dating anyone. I called Kathy up and asked her to go to dinner
and see a performance of the Louisville Symphony Orchestra. She accepted. We
had a great time together on that date. Thus began what some would call a
whirlwind romance. It started with letters, then phone calls, then visits. Keep
in mind that we lived 300 miles apart, so visiting was not easy. Also, in those
days long distance phone calls were expensive. So we were racking up monthly phone
bills in the hundreds of dollars.
When we would get together, one of the things we would
discuss was our Christian beliefs. We both knew our relationship was getting
serious, and we wanted to make sure that our beliefs were close enough to not
cause us problems down the road. She knew I had no problem with the Christian
Church since I had been going there when in Louisville. When she visited me,
she attended the Church of Christ where I was a member. There was no Christian
Church anywhere near where I lived, so that was not an option.
Both the Church of Christ and the Christian Church had a
code they lived by: Speak where the Bible speaks, and be silent where the Bible
is silent. It bugged me that both churches believed this statement, yet somehow
came to different conclusions on some matters. Upon analyzing it for a while, I
finally realized why there were differences. The first part of the code, speak
where the Bible speaks, caused no problems. If the Bible said to do something,
both churches did it. If the Bible said to refrain from something, both
churches refrained. It was the second part of the code, be silent where the
Bible is silent, that was causing the conflict. You see, the Church of Christ
took being silent about something as being the same as refraining from it. The
Christian Church took being silent about something as meaning that God didn’t
care one way or the other. This difference made for some interesting
discussions.
The New Testament says we should sing to God as part of our
worship, but it is silent about musical instruments. Therefore, the Church of
Christ refrains from using instruments in worship as its way of being silent on
the matter. The Christian Church believes you can use instruments or not since
God is silent and thus doesn’t care. There were a number of other differences
that stemmed from these differing interpretations of what being silent on an
issue means. Personally, I came down on the side of the Christian Church even
though I could argue either position. In fact, I was so familiar with differing
doctrines I could argue either side of a lot of issues.
As I said, Kathy's and my romance went quickly. Just four
months after our first date, on Valentine’s Day 1982, I asked Kathy to marry
me. She said yes, and we were soon in discussions with
her mom about what date and venue to choose. Ultimately, we decided on July 3,
1982. That allowed Kathy to finish teaching for the school year, and it was
around a holiday, thus allowing more people from out of town to attend. As for
venue, we decided to wed at Kathy’s church. It was to be officiated by both the
preacher from her church and the campus minister of His House at Murray State
University.
After marrying, Kathy and I began studying the Bible
together at home on a regular basis. We started in Genesis and planned to work
our way through Revelation. But plans have a way of being disrupted. There were
a number of passages in Genesis that bugged me. I had questions that neither
Kathy nor the Bible could answer. I began discussing these issues with our
preacher, elders, and deacons. I soon found that they did not have any answers
either. At least not any acceptable
answers. Many times the answer was, “Sometimes you just have to have faith.”
But I knew that oftentimes people had faith in things that were untrue. I
needed evidence to distinguish between truth and untruth. In too many cases,
that evidence was not forthcoming. So, Kathy’s and my Bible study fell by the
wayside.
About five years into our marriage, I found myself rejecting
the Bible as being God’s Word. This was something Kathy and I had never even
considered before we got married. We had discussed our differences in religious
beliefs, which were minimal. But never did we consider the possibility of one
of us rejecting those beliefs sometime down the road. It was a difficult time.
But ultimately, our love for each other won the day. Our love was able bridge
even the gap between an agnostic and a Christian.
In 1 Corinthians 13:1-8a, the Apostle Paul says this about
love:
“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not
have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift
of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a
faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give
all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,
but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does
not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it
is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love
does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects,
always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
Hey, I believe Paul was on to something here. Five years
into our marriage, Kathy and I faced what some might call a crisis. My beliefs
were diverging from hers. In fact, had I had my new beliefs before we wed, we
most likely would not have gotten married. Yet there we were; married and
believing differently. But as Paul says, “Love never fails.” It certainly didn’t
fail us, but it required us to latch onto it and not let it loose.
I look back on this now with wonderment. It almost seemed
like a supernatural intervention occurred. I became a Christian just long
enough for Kathy and me to fall in love and get married. I became a Christian
in 1980. We started dating in 1981. We married in 1982. I began doubting the
Bible soon after. I became a nonbeliever in 1987. Could it be that God, or
fate, or something else, wanted Kathy and me to be together, so arranged the
circumstances just long enough for that to happen? I don’t really know, but it’s
something to think about.
So, after over 32 years of marriage, Kathy and I love each
other more than ever. I am reminded of the 1969 Spiral Starecase hit song “More
Today Than Yesterday.” The lyrics say, “I love you more today than yesterday,
but not as much as tomorrow.” It’s a great song. Yet, there are many who
believe that Kathy will go to heaven, and I will go to hell. To me, that is
saying that love is more powerful in this life than in the next. Yet, God is
supposed to BE love. Is he incapable of loving me at least as much as Kathy
does? Why would he deny our love in the afterlife? And why would this denial be
based on sincerely held differences in beliefs rather than our actions? It
makes no sense to me.
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